The BA (Drama Major)

Sorry it's been a while since we posted. In the time since, we both lost our jobs, got jobs, got theatre work. David wore tights. Sarah went to Lake Tahoe. David got a roommate. Sarah got three roommates. David got a Bachelor of Arts degree.

So, you know. Beat that.

Dual Award: The Golden Globes of Gypsy Gal Goodness

(Sarah plays music from 'Gypsy Gal,' Audio Rocketry's [a local band] upcoming sophomore album)

Sarah: I really like these guys!

David: Me too.

Sarah: Normally when local student bands send me stuff, it's really shitty, but this...

David: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Sarah: And I normally hate folk-celtic stuff, but...

David: It's like they're having fun!

Sarah: Exactly!

David: I LOVE fun!

...

David: When's their CD release party?

Sarah: March 5.

David: That's a Friday.

Sarah: You want to go?

David: Yeah! Hey, we could write a concert blog entry for the newspaper!

Sarah: And it could be a conversation!

David: Like our blog!

Sarah: DONE! OK, I've officially pencilled it in on my calendar. No backing out now or you'll break my heart.

David: Wait, what if I have a hot date that night?

Sarah: Then you're bringing them along. It's official, I love these guys now.

David: But —

Sarah: NO BUTS.

...

Sarah: Yeah. I'm in love. They have a stupid name, but I don't care. I want these guys. I want to date them. All at once.

David: This is sudden.

Sarah: Don't care.

David: What if they already have girlfriends?

Sarah: DOESN'T MATTER. I WILL MAKE THIS WORK. I WILL HAVE NINETY-FIVE BOYFRIENDS HA HA HA LA LA LA.

David: Have you ever noticed that when we have a conversation at 1 a.m., it ends up being really weird?

The Azures Academic Acceptance Award

It's official. Our li'l Sarah is going off to Mexico for school next year. Good for her.

...

What? We can put serious stuff on here occasionally. Not everything needs to be a joke.

...

So there's a bar with a priest, a rabbi, and a giant rabbit, right?....

The Linguistic Longevity Laurels of Lust

Sarah: Turns out Spanish is useless if you translate it directly.

David: Then why the hell are you studying it?

Sarah: Because Gael Garcia Bernal became single this week, and someday, I’m gonna tap that.

David: I’m glad to see you’re learning the language for the right reasons.

Sarah: Hey — jungle fever. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

The Reflective Respiration Ribbon

David: This does not win an award. This wins ALL THE AWARDS. FOREVER.

Sarah: This is extremely unflattering and gross, but I'm OK with it.

David: Welcome to my world.

(Hat-tip to Lucas for camerawork!)

The Momentary Musical Markage Statue

Look, if Sarah's gonna pull something like that last award, David has to get in on it too. This WAS for a Sara-Bareilles-themed photoshoot, but that's still enough to earn a trophy, we think.

The Victorious Vegetable Vendetta Statue

Most posts need some kind of explanation. This? Does not. Sarah kicks broccoli's ass. 'Nuff said.

Dual Award: The Midnight Microphone Coat-Rack-Mastery Medallions

(song: "I Do Not Hook Up" by Kelly Clarkson)

Sarah: I'm going home now.

David: Still, you can't disagree: Best office dance-off ever.

Sarah: I'm taking the coat rack with me.

David: I thought you did not hook up.

David: Hee hee. 'Hook.' Because it's a coat rack.

Sarah: CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT NIGHT AT LUCKY 13 ALREADY?

David: Nope.

Sarah: Fuckety fuck.

David: I'm sure Jill approves.

The Exercising Ectomorphic Excellence Award

Sarah: You shouldn't come to the gym with me.

David: Why not? I like the gym. I like running.

Sarah: But then I end up comparing myself to you. And that's not good.

David: But we're like the same weight. You totally should have let me join you guys on the Freshman 15 Feature. I could've, like, provided an ectomorph's perspective.

Sarah: Yeah, that's the last thing I need. "David's diet included three chocolate bars a day and hit his weight loss goal in four days. Sarah worked her butt off and ate stupid vegetables and gained five pounds."

David: OK, OK.

Sarah: "David ate nothing but pizza and tacos for three weeks and lost nine pounds. Sarah ate apples and drank water and somehow doubled her weight."

David: You've made your point.

Sarah: I don't think I have. Fine.

David: ...

Sarah: ...

David: Also, nine pounds? That's less than my average.

Sarah: Shut. Up.

The Chapped Chops Commendation

Ow. Ow. OW. My lips really hurt. Ow. Ow. Godamn chapping. I better get some kind of trophy for this

Oh, yes, that's really attractive. What with the scabbing and the wrinkling and the INTENSE PAIN. Ow. Ow. Give me the damn award and let me go to bed.